12/26/09

My Annual Awards

As I do every year I plan on handing out awards. The more astute observers of this blog will say "I've never seen you give awards before". That would be true. Anyhow, these awards are prestigious, merited a lot of thought from the committee, really drove emotions through the hearts of many (mostly laughter, embarrassment and anger). Enjoy.

The Toby Flenderson- Get The Hell out of my Office Award
To the undesirable Rahm Emmanuel. You made a hard job seem like something that a manipulative ex on the rampage would be great for. You have used your powerful office to blast and ignore political opponents (Howard Dean for one) and you have used your incredible responsibility to destroy the most meaningful legislation in 50 years piece by piece until it fits the mold of your ideology- the DLC so that it helps the health care companies.

You have one of the greatest leaders in the world, a man who just became President and have made him the laughing stock and partial villain of the left and the right in America. You're essentially the George Bush of Chief of Staffs. You listened to Pres. Obama well by uniting the country and bridging the gaps between blue states and red states. Against him.

Your political malpractice took a guy with approval numbers in the 70's and 60s and he's now in the 40's. If all goes well in 3 more years he'll be in the 7's and 6s. Gotta love the Rahmster.

The Ann Coulter I'm just saying shit to sell books Award
To the beautiful, sultry, intellectually deficient, effectively in a vegetative mental state former Governor of Alaska. Sarah, you are my hero. No one else would have thought that in one year alone you would go from the biggest political threat to Democrats to the biggest political threat to Republicans. No one would have thought you'd have quit elected office to take a 2 to 7 million dollar paycheck for writing a book, where you exposed personal grudges, aired laundry publicly...... Shit, has she met Rahm Emmanuel? If she does, goodbye Todd.

But seriously she said to Newsweek[Money quote ahead!]
Being a voracious reader, I read a lot today and have read a lot growing up. And having that journalism degree, all of that, will be a great assistance for me in writing this book, talking about the challenges and the joys, balancing the work and parenting, and, in my case, work means running the state.
Yes, Sarah of 6 years to get a journalism degree at 10 universities is such a voracious reader that as we all remember from THE Katie Couric Interview she couldn't name a single darn newspaper she read. The Miami New Times [who linked to my blog this year- yeah I don't forget Kyle!] explains that while she knows "real America" she doesn't know "Latin America" which for an avid reader is interesting. She in another interview talked about wanting to relate to America without a filter. Because really, who didn't run a state and for VP of the country.

The Hillary Clinton I killed my campaign a year before the election award

This goes to Charlie Crist.
August: 25 point gap.
December: Tied

I'd write more but I'd fear I'd be held liable for the Crist staffers who are committing mass suicide or homicide or both.

The Dumb Ass Award for Democrat who stepped in the most Crap

If the Olympics are seen as the triumph of will, strength and years of hard work and dedication, then BJ Chiszar would win a gold medal and forever be an Olympian. For being a dumbass.

You know whether it was in January or March he set forth on an unmistakably erroneous path. Whether it was not allowing Democratic candidates access to the VAN, pissing off every individual he met, playing favorites with campaigns [see the March post again] or attacking local groups of college Democrats and the Florida Democratic Party and involving everyone he could think of in the dumbest chess move by a political figure in Florida since the Spaniards owned this territory you really have to hand it to him. And by "it" I mean the award for being a dumbass. I will miss him though. Really helped traffic to the site.

The Mumia Abu Jamal Award for journalist most likely to be framed and convicted for speaking truth to power award.

Matt Taibbi is either the smartest man alive or one insane writer. His blog The Smirking Chimp is clever, witty and basically all things good. The antithesis of this one. Check out his articles there on the economic collapse. This Rolling Stone Magazine writer has really ripped into major corporations, the right, the left and anyone else in between by using facts, intelligence, humor and a dose of morality. No wonder he's not in office!

Whether it be his fantastic story on Wall Street insiders or health care reform and how it was being screwed or how Obama's a huge sell out the man is fantastic.

Read the last one about Obama. Then read the first two paragraphs. Yeah, he's THAT damn good.

The Howard Dean- Politician who Says the Truth Award
Alan Grayson over the course of the last year...
1] Told Dick Cheney to Shut the Fuck Up on Hardball
2] Called Sen. Coburn Delusional
3] Called a lobbyist a K-Street Whore than provided the worst apology ever.
4] Revealed the Republican Health Care Plan
Oh and he accused his Republican opponent of being hired from Hooters and that his staff spent all their time flicking pins and watching porn, called Rush Limbaugh a has been and said VP Cheney liked to shoot old men in the face.

And that's just really the last 6 months.

The Blue Dog Democrats Knife in the Back Award
They say in politics you keep your enemy close and your friends closer. But you definitely want to handcuff the Blue Dogs and have a mirror in front of you around them at all times. The same may apply to Chairman Lydecker of the Miami Dade DEC around those that were on the emails calling for his ousting after his appointment by the Florida Democratic Party. 7 minutes after he was appointed. That might be an exaggeration. There were so many individual agendas flying around that they could have started an Office Depot. Just Taking Care of Business.

The Katherine Harris Total Failure to Inspire as a candidate award
I love Alex Sink as much as the next person (ok no one loves her other than her family and friends..and Karen Thurman) but really it's kind of hard to get behind someone with all the enthusiasm of Eeyore. No one likes a candidate who's too spineless to make a stand on an issue such as health care reform. No one really wants to support Alex Sink. We just see Bill McCollum on the other side and go...SINK 2010. If Shriver and others are out there really going to give it a go...maybe now would be a good time to jump in folks. I've talked to DEC members and leaders from across the state, and with the exception of one county, no one is actually happy about her. Activists just kind of roll their eyes. Sounds like a winning ticket.

The George Bush Katrina Level Management Award
This monumental Award goes to Harry Reid for making the Senate Democratic Caucus into a joke of a joke. Whether it be being shaken down by Max Baucus, Kent Conrad, Ben Nelson, Mary Landrieu he really has made himself and the party look like incredibly incompetent assholes who can't figure out diddly squat. And that's without talking about Sen. Lieberman (hey you have to spell LIE! to spell his name!) and the hostage situation that occurs whenever Joe-mentum decides to change course or not like a policy. But hey he's still chair of his committee.

I imagine that Sen. Reid's staff all look like this whenever a bill is being discussed.











Thank you all and I hope 2010 is a great year!

1 comment:

BJC said...

Prophetic!